3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
