Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
