But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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