Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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