Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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