i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
