i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
