Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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