i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
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