Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
