Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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