youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
