Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
