We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
