just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
A bitchslap is in order.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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