I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
