Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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