Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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