How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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