Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
