i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize