Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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