im gay
i know
yea but for you.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
