I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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