I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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