I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
