I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
