how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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