Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
