Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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