Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
too bad you live with your parents still
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize