You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
