It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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