I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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