he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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