Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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