margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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