lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
