Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I deserve this hangover.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
