dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
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