I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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