Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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