I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
