I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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