So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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