and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
