If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
