Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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