Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Enjoy the penises
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
