This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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