you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
