i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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