i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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