No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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