Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
