Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
