): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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