she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
