nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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