boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
