I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she peed on how many people?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
