Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
