what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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