Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
