Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
