And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just gift wrapped bread.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
