Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
