You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
